internal bleeding

Under my eyes
The tender skin lies
All purple and bruised
From what I've gone through
Im tired
So very tired..
And I just want to go lay down
But whenever I try
I just want to cry
Because my head is never sound
And the tears prove dry
As the dark circles persist
They grow and spread
Little black and blue
Puddles
Reflecting the fight
Within
How I'm bleeding
From the inside out
And oh it hurts
And I just want to shout
But chained are my lips
Confined are my feelings
Now matter what I write
They just keep reeling
Winding inside
All intertwined
Can't unravel this sin
That's burried deep within
I just want help..
Want some one to know
Know what it's like
To be this alone.
But nobody can relate
Nobody can understand
How I just want to getaway
From all that he's planned
The devil
Controls my soul
And I do his will
I bend and I'll stab
Myself repeatedly
Knowing that it's bad
And I can't escape..
I just want to be free
Please..
Help me
All the blood..
It's everywhere
On my hands
Forever staining my skin
Proof of self hatred
And my battle within
How did I get here
Fallen..so low
How could I do this
Didn't I know???
I thought I was better
Thought I loved myself
But now I am realizing
I've begun to loathe myself
And knowing this
I can cry
Just still can't see why..
I know I love myself
So tell me this
If I love myself…
Then why
Do I
Make myself
Sick?